Lessons I’ve Learned In Marriage

On March 2nd, my husband and I celebrated our 14th wedding anniversary! I’m so thankful for my wonderful husband and God’s faithfulness throughout our marriage. To find someone to love and loves you back is truly an amazing thing — especially when he chooses to love you even at your worst.

As in all marriages, there are highs and lows. I wouldn’t change a single second of it for I have grown as a person and in my faith through our relationship. However, I wanted to share with you two lessons that I have learned in my marriage:

1. He shouldn’t be my everything. Walter is my best friend, my confidant, and I love just being in the same room as him. It’s romantic to say that “he’s my everything” (which in many ways he is), however, I don’t expect him to be my everything. It’s an unfair pressure to put on him. My husband needs to be able to hang with his friends and talk with them without constantly worrying about me. And I need to have people that I can be with as well. When our shelter-in-place happened last March, I was totally content — I’m an introvert and I got to spend my time with the people most important to me. I would be completely happy only hanging out with my husband every single day, but that doesn’t mean that’s all I should do. God designed us to have relationships with others and even though I struggle with idea of female relationships, I’m learning that there is a place for them and that I need them in my life as well.

2. He doesn’t define my worth. My husband and I are two imperfect sinners that are able to love each other and live together by the grace of God. My husband gets to see both the best and worst of me…and sometimes we are quicker to point out where the other one is lacking and forget to point out the good things. My worth isn’t defined by my husband or any one else. My worth is defined by God. When I remember that, I find myself less defensive to criticism and open to improvement…knowing that he loves me still.

I thank God every day for giving me Walter and I pray that the Lord would continue to work in my heart and teach me how I can love my husband more each and every day.

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