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Faith Family Parenting

Empowered and Free

My nine-year-old seriously amazes me.

She questions the fashions created for women and how they flaunt a woman’s body. She bemoans the fact that girls are treated weaker and less than boys. She laments the disparity between men and women.

It’s a lot for her young brain to process, but I love that she thinks about big things and questions what so many of us have come to see as normal. Here are some of her questions:

❓ Why are girls’ swimsuits like underwear while the boys can wear shorts?

❓ Why are girls’ shorts so short?

❓ Why do boys think that they are the only ones who can play sports?

❓ Why do boys always jump in front of me to catch a ball (in kickball) and miss, while I was ready to get the ball and would have caught it?

GIRL! I have been there!!

As she wrestles with her questions, we discuss how it doesn’t seem fair and how she can do more than others may think. I tell her that I am proud that she sees these issues and wants it to be different.

My daughter is going to do big things in this world. Her goal is not to be the best, but to be given a chance to chase her dreams and participate. To show that the world doesn’t dictate who she is or what she wears.

Her worth is found in Christ. She is a child of God and He has great plans for her. I’m excited to see what her future holds. She is empowered to do great things with the freedom she has in Christ. Go change the world, my sweet girl!

Categories
Family Parenting

A Mother’s Love

My mom is incredible. She is generous of her time, loves to serve, and puts others first. She has been present throughout my life — always there when I need her. Here are a few stories reflect the personal sacrifices she made to show me she loved me.

✨My senior year of high school, my mom got up every morning to make me lunch and say good-bye. I told her she could sleep and I could take care of it, but she wanted to do it for me. She wanted to always see me off to school. As a mom, I now know exactly how she feels and I know I’ll be the same way.

✨I went to college close to home and my mom made a big deal about creating my own distance. She knew the value of getting the full college experience and didn’t want me to blend college and home together. In fact, I hardly heard from her the first few weeks and had to remind her that a lot of my friends talked to their parents almost every day on the phone…she didn’t need to keep that much distance! 😉 I’m sure it was hard for her to stay away (my dad used to drive by my dorm room every day on his way to work!), but knew it was important for my growth into adulthood.

✨For Grad School, I headed to North Carolina. My mom was so excited and encouraged me to go. At the time, I didn’t think she would miss me…but then I realized that she was pushing me away, because otherwise I wouldn’t go. She couldn’t show me that she would miss me, etc. because she wanted to make it easier for me to leave. She hid her feelings of sadness, so I would continue to thrive. I can still remember when she dropped me off at the airport once when I came to visit and she couldn’t hold back the tears that time. It was the first time I saw her cry and knew that she usually was able to wait until I was out of sight before she let the tears flow. She didn’t want me to see them.

Time and again, my mom has been there — from watching my children, to helping me decorate my house, to letting me use her car when mine was in the shop. She has been the best role model as a woman of God, a wife, a friend, and a mother. Not only do I take after her physically, but she has taught me how to serve others and my family with love and faith.

Over the past few years, my mom’s memory has started to go and she has become more reserved. But to me, she will always be the life of the party with a laugh that you can hear clear across the room, the person working behind the scenes to make sure everything goes well, an amazing Bible study teacher, and the best mom and Grammy ever. I pray that the one thing she never forgets is how loved she is. I love you, mom!

Categories
Faith Family Parenting

Parenting is Hard

Being a parent is one of the greatest things in the world…and the hardest. You feel their pain and it crushes your soul. You want to fix everything, yet you realize how little is in your control.

My sweet girl has been struggling this year. I know that a lot of kids are struggling with all the pandemic stuff and it could be a part of her woes. The crazy thing is…yes, she had e-learning the spring of 2020, but she goes to a private school and has been in school full-time this entire year. We don’t watch the news, talk about political things, or live in fear of COVID, etc. at our house. But she is incredibly perceptive (always has been) and picks up on everything…and her 9-year-old mind doesn’t know how to process all of it.

It has translated to anxiety and insecurity. She doesn’t want any attention on her and fears that she is a disappointment and failure. She hides herself and fluctuates between anger and tears.

My daughter is incredible. She is beautiful inside and out. She is smart, brave, kind, and caring. She loves and feels SO big. And it breaks my heart that she can’t see it.

I tell her everything that I love about her. I hold her and hug her. I pray for her and point her to God. I’m working with her to find the positive instead of focusing on the negative.

I know that God loves her even more than me and has a plan for her life, but right now, it’s hard and my heart breaks for her. However, I trust Him with her life. She is a child of God and loved beyond measure. I pray that she would see herself as God sees her and that she will find her worth in Him.

Categories
Family Goals Health and Wellness Marriage Parenting

What’s Your Word of the Year?

Since the beginning of 2021, I’ve been hearing a lot about having a “Word of the Year.” People have been choosing a “Word of the Year” prior to now, but I wonder if I’m seeing it more this year because people are afraid to have goals and dreams in 2021 after the letdown of 2020. 

It’s crazy to think that there is one word in all of language that will envelope my hopes for 2021 (check out this funny video from The Holderness Family: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNZeZK7-4uU), but I think I came up with one. I still created my list of dreams for 2021, but tried to funnel it all into one word.

My word of the year is CARE. 

I picked this word because of the different ways it can be used.

“Take care…”

“Handle with care…”

“I care about you…”

I want to be more empathetic and show people that I care about their hurts/struggles. 

I want to make sure those closest to me know that I love them and make it a priority to tell them every single day that I care about them and that they matter. 

I want to grow how I take care of my aging parents and my family. I want to heal relationships by caring enough to listen and learn. 

At my job, I want my students to always know that they are valued and loved

In my business, I want my clients to know that I genuinely want to see them grow and succeed — that I care about their health and success. 

When the world gets crazy and out of control, I want to care about it more and not just compartmentalize. 

I want to care enough to be honest with people when I’ve been hurt instead of walking away.

As with any goals and dreams, I’m not going to beat myself up when I fail. My hope is that this word will resonate through my mind as I look at my daily to-do list, waver on returning a text, or find myself holding onto my hurt and anger…and that I will make a decision to show that I care.

How about you? Do you have a word that resonates with you and your dreams?