Tag: inspiration

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Start Something

Two weeks ago was USANA’s 30th Celebration Convention. (If you don’t already know, I partner with USANA who is the leader in science-based nutritional supplements.) I was unable to attend convention in person, but was able to watch it virtually.

The theme of convention was “Start Something”. The point is to challenge yourself to do something, anything, to get you moving in the right direction and/or make changes to your life. It could be that you want to start inspiring people, so you start a podcast or blog. Or maybe it’s more specific, such as, start eating more vegetables. Whatever it is, I encourage you to think about what you would want to start doing right now.

The past summer I had my own “start something.” For me, I decided to start taking care of my mental health. Now, if you’ve been reading my blog posts and watched me unload and process my thoughts here, you’re probably thinking, “Finally! She needs some help!” 😉😂

In June, in order to help with our stress and anxiety, my 10-year-old daughter and I started knitting! We began with a knitting class at a yarn store, then had my neighbor (who is the GM at the store) come give us private lessons. I never expected to love it as much as I do! And it has been really good for my stress.

Secondly, I finally started seeing a counselor. Past hurts have caused me to create unhealthy walls with people. I hold so much inside me that I was feeling overwhelmed. Too many times, I try to do things on my own instead of utilizing the people around me who love and care for me. I decided I needed a change and God led me to an incredible counselor. So far, it has been a journey of healing and forgiveness…and creating new, better habits.

So, what about you? What’s something you can start doing today? Let me know if the comments!

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Goals

Can You Hear Me Now?

Do people still call their friends when they need to talk? Or is it just text messages?

I’ve shared my journey over the past year of increasing vulnerability in my relationships with friends. God has brought some amazing new friends into my life that minister to me when I’ve responded to his voice and shared my life.

Most of the time, I send brief text messages to my friends during the week and then try to meet-up for coffee or lunch. However, as I become more real with people, I feel the need to call a friend just to talk about things.

Sure, I talk on the phone with my family, but it feels like years since I’ve called a friend when I need a listening ear or need help. Perhaps it’s a reflection of how closed off I am in my relationships. Or, perhaps, our world is so busy, that I don’t think they’ll be available to talk. Probably a little bit of both.

So, what’s the verdict? Do people still call each other? Do you have a friend that you can call when life gets hard? I have friends that I believe I could call and they would listen. And I’m always free to talk with a friend who calls me. Face-to-face is always my favorite, but that phone call can fill the gaps.

I think I’ll call a friend today.

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Faith Goals Self-care

Power In Weakness

Every Wednesday night, our church does Care Night to reach those who are struggling with anxiety, isolation, and addictions. Recently, our Care Night Pastor was encouraging people to attend and talked about how there is power in our weakness. We find God’s strength when we are able to admit our weaknesses and trust in him. Those words really struck a chord with me.

I’ve been learning a lot about vulnerability and sharing my weaknesses this past year. I’ve always been a perfectionist and I hold things close to the chest. Even when I try to be “in the moment” there is a since of control to it. I recently saw a video of me singing on worship team. I remember feeling to free to move to the music and raise my hands, yet as I watched the video, I was surprised how controlled my motions seemed. Apparently, 43 years of perfectionism is hard to break!

The problem is that being perfect pushes people away. And to be honest, being perfect is exhausting. There’s so much self-doubt, self-criticism, and loneliness. I try so hard to be perfect on the outside, but I’m a mess on the inside.

Not Perfect

I’m not perfect. I have nervous ticks that come out even more when I’m stressed — from rolling my eyes, to scrunching my nose, to slightly nodding my head or stretching. It’s embarrassing to me because it is such an obvious physical imperfection. My daughter struggles with anxiety/OCD and is getting a tween attitude that leaves me at my wits end and struggling to know how to help her. I’m more angry, frustrated, and depressed than I want to admit. But that’s okay. God’s power and strength is found in my weakness.

My previous church talked a good game about grace and forgiveness, but made it clear that if you didn’t appear perfect (say the correct things, be involved in certain ministries, wear the right clothes), you didn’t fit in their church. It hurt. But in my feelings of weakness, God led me to a church that values our differences, welcomes us, cares for us, and points us to our Savior. I find myself being more vulnerable and real with people…and they still want to hang out with me! 😉

Be Real

Jennie Allen gives a great example of being known, not perfect, in her book Get Out of Your Head. She writes:

“I met a new friend after the move to Dallas. Ellen is sophisticated and always says the right thing…she was the kind of new friend who is so awesome, you feel intimidated to be around her (though she would never want you to). The first time we met, I remember playing it safe. I thought I’d hold back and feel her out.

“But the second time, I decided to go for it. I was all of me — opinionated, loud, honest, and passionate. She laughed and started calling more often. She liked me in all my chaotic glory.”

When we stop trying to be perfect and share who we are with others — strengths and weaknesses — that’s when the deep relationships form. That’s where God can meet us and grow us.

As I have been willing to share my hurt and pains with others, I’m realizing that I’m not alone and creating deeper friendships. God is bringing joy and healing to my heart by being real and weak. I’m thankful for recent women in my life with whom I’ve been unapologetically me…and felt known and loved.

And I’m thankful for God’s hope and strength in my weakness.

“And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

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Faith Family

Time to Lose Control

Our sermon this past Sunday at church was about respecting authority. While my parents did a great job of teaching me to show respect to others, I’m also a control freak.

I’m not sure if you’re familiar with enneagram, but I’m a 8w9. As an enneagram 8, I like to be in control and I don’t like to be controlled by others. Not a great combo when it comes to how I deal with authority!

And the past couple of years have caused even more stress for this control freak! People telling me to stay home, wear a mask, get tested, etc. There is already so much I can’t control (weather, gas prices, etc.) that these additional requirements about sent me over the edge.

On top of all the pandemic nonsense, we went through some really tough stuff last year that I was out of my control and left me helpless and broken. And when I feel that way, I find myself desperately searching for something to control — which usually ends up being my husband and kids.

Loving or Controlling?

Instead of being a team player with my husband, I’ve been digging my heels in on issues (where we both have valid points) and trying to control God’s story for his life. I want to rush him through his healing process and take away his pain. Countless times he reminds me that I don’t get to dictate his feelings. That w9 of my enneagram (8w9)…that’s me wanting peace and happiness. So, I try to control my husband and my kids’ feelings to get to a state of peace and happiness, instead of just listening and letting them move at their own pace.

My 10-year-old daughter (who struggles with OCD and anxiety — which I definitely have no control over) keeps telling me that I’m not listening to her. I am listening, but I’m trying to fix her problem or make her feel better…control how she feels. What she’s trying to tell me is that she wants me to just listen and allow her to feel. She doesn’t want the solution or for me to show her the flip side of the coin. She wants to be heard and validated.

And I get it. Because I hate when people do that to me too. I want to be able to tell my frustrations and process through it, not have someone tell me what to think.

What’s the Solution?

Ultimately, it’s about trusting God. Trusting Him with those I love. Trusting God with the future. And trusting that He cares for my family more than I do and will handle every situation. I’m learning that, even when everything feels out of control, God is in control. And I’m trying to learn to let go, listen more, and let people be.

And this is how I can best love the people in my life.

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Faith Self-care

Control Freak

If you’re familiar with enneagram, I’m an 8w9. The 8 means that I like to be in control and don’t want anything to control me. The w9 means that I have a peacemaker side. How this often looks in my life as an 8w9 is that I want to control people’s emotions and have everyone be happy.

I used to think that I wasn’t an empathetic person, however that isn’t true. My empathy just has a time limit. Meaning, I will empathize with you, but then I want to get you feeling better again. Yes, I am great at seeing the silver lining and finding the blessing in the pain, but I tend to rush people to feel better. I want them to “shake off” the emotional pain as if it were just a scraped knee.

But, I need to be willing to sit with people in their pain and not rush them. God isn’t in a rush, so why should I be?

Job’s Faith

I’ve been reading through the book of Job in the Bible recently. Job is known as “blameless and upright, one who feared God and turned away from evil.” Satan comes to God and claims that Job would curse God if you took everything away from him. God disagrees. He know Job will remain faithful.

Job loses everything! His livestock, his farm, his children, and eventually his health as well. He is utterly destitute and miserable. Job doesn’t sit and think about how blessed he is or look for the silver lining. Job is mad a God. He is severely depressed and wishes he was never born. BUT, he never turns from God and curses him.

I love that God has the book of Job in the Bible because it reminds us that it is okay to feel mad at God and/or depressed. He can handle it. So, hold tight to the truth of God through the hard time. Job trusted God even through the hard, even as he waited for a change.

In the meantime, I’m going to work on letting people “feel” and not trying to manipulate or control their feelings. Because it’s okay to have feelings, it’s okay to be angry, and it’s okay to be hurt. And it’s also okay to find joy and see God’s work even while your still struggle. God’s not in a rush — we don’t need to be either.

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Faith Self-care

Empowered

The top of my LinkedIn profile says “Empowering Freedom” and below my profile picture it says “Empowering women to design a life they love.” I talk a lot about empowering women and moms, but what does that actually mean?

Empowerment is defined as the process of becoming stronger and more confident. On LinkedIn, it’s about women finding their way in business and their personal lives. I believe that as women, we were created to do so many things and that we can do big things! I want women to feel empowered to thrive in life.

However, society says that what you need is inside you and you just need to dig deeper to find it — that you are to rely on yourself and no one else. It says that empowerment is taking control of one’s life and claiming one’s rights.

But I believe true empowerment is found in Jesus Christ. See, the amazing thing about Jesus, it that he was all about women’s empowerment! Jesus took women from a place of shame (in their culture at that time) and gave them honor…and he still does today!

If you want to know what a strong woman is, look to the Bible. If you want an example of a man bringing honor and empowerment to women, look to Jesus. You don’t need to look to yourself, you just need to trust Jesus and look to him for the honor, respect, strength, confidence, and power he has given to you already.

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Goals Health and Wellness

Goals That Stick

For many people, New Year = New Goals. And, as we know, most people only last a month or two before giving up on them. Having goals is great, however, most people give up because it is unattainable, they don’t have a plan to meet the goal, or they are looking for quick results.

There is nothing wrong with coming up with a list of goals for the new year…as long as you realize that it might take all year (or even longer) to attain them. Most won’t get achieved in one month — which means that you can’t give up after January if you haven’t met your goal AND you can’t wait to get started until November or December. Start right away with the knowledge that anything great worth doing is worth the time and effort.

It’s helpful to have smaller goals as you reach for your big goals (which I like to call my Dreams for the year). Dreams are the big picture, but you need multiple, smaller goals to reach your big goal/dream. So, you may have a big goal of losing 30lbs, but your smaller goals may be to lose 1-2 pounds per week, add one vegetable to your day, etc. You may want to get into an exercise routine again, but you can’t just go run five miles. Your smaller goal may be to do 10 minutes of movement per day for one week, etc. and then build from there.

Another reason people fail to meet their goals is that they don’t know how to make goals. You need to make SMART goals.

Specific: Goals should be clear and state specifically what you wish to be accomplished.

Measurable: You need to be able to measure your goals so that you can see your progress.

Attainable: Goals should be realistically attainable.

Relevant: Goals need to be relevant to your particular needs, interests, and abilities.

Time-bound: Goals need to have a timeline for completion.

Your smaller goals may only be for a week or month, then once you meet that goal, you create a new one to move you toward ultimately completing your big goal. When I decided I wanted to stop eating chocolate every day and quit sugar years ago, my original goal was to go just one day without sugar! After I did the one day, my goal was one week. Then it was two weeks, then one month, etc. I started with a super small goal and then built on it.

If you read my previous post, you know that I’m waiting to set any goals for the year and just taking it one day at a time. (Focusing on the daily, is in itself a small goal!). You might not have goals you are working on now, but these are some tips that will help whenever you choose to create a goal.

Need help with your goals? Feel free to reach out and I can give you some other tools and resources to get you going and offer accountability.

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Faith Family Goals

Happy New Year?

It’s a New Year! A time where people make new goals, dream about the upcoming year, and hope that things are better than the last year.

I was looking back at my social media posts from last year…you know, the ones with champagne and talking about making 2021 the best year yet…and it broke me. 2021 was hard. The first seven months brought challenges and betrayal that I never imagined (I share my journey in previous blog posts). It was really hard. And, yes, God in his amazing grace, redeemed the final months and brought peace, joy, and unity to my life and relationships. My faith is deeper and more real that it has been in years…praise Jesus through the hard.

But, as the calendar moves into 2022, I’m wary. To be honest, I’m afraid that 2022 will start of the same as 2021…God did amazing things in the life of me and my family, but I don’t want to go through that hardship again.

(It’s silly, but last year was the first NYE that my husband and I were in two different locations — we didn’t get to bring in 2021 together. So, I told him that I didn’t care what we did for NYE this year, as long as I was with him. As if that was what threw off 2021. 🙄🤣 )

I’m working to trust God and his goodness — that he will continue to provide and care for me and my family. But, I’m entering 2022 slowly. I’m not dreaming big dreams or planning big goals. There is no word of the year for me this year, etc. I’m simply going to take each day as it comes (I mean, I’ll still be planning things — it’s what I do) and trust God. I’m not going to try to force his hand and rush his schedule for my life.

Maybe you’re like me. Has the weight of life’s issues made you wary of the new year? I still have hope and joy, just taking it one step at time. Because if there’s one thing I learned in 2021, it’s that God is by my side through all my trials, that he is standing in the fire with me, and I have joy because of how he has brought me through every battle.

“There was another in the fire, standing next to me. There was another in the water, holding back the seas. And if I ever need reminding of how good He’s been to me, I’ll count the joy in every battle, ’cause I know that’s where He’ll be.” Another In The Fire

Here’s to the New Year and taking one day at a time, trusting God’s plan, and digging deeper in all my relationships.

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Faith Family Goals

This Is Me

Today, December 13th, is my 43rd birthday and I’m amazed at how fast this year has flown by! This year had it’s ups and downs, but overall, I feel amazing and that the Lord brought me back to life this year.

I know that many people dread getting older, but the deeper I get in to my 40s, the more I love it! Yes, my hormones can be a little wacky, but I’ve found some natural ways to keep them under control. I’ve had to cut back on some of my running miles, but I’ve become stronger and have learned to appreciate rest, stretching, and a good walk. I love being in my 40s, because I am comfortable in my skin and being who God created me to be…not just saying it to convince myself (ahem…30s), but truly feeling it deep in my soul.

I’ve seen amazing growth in my relationships. I’m more honest and real with how I feel…and less second guessing everything I do. Instead of having pity parties about how I don’t feel seen or understood (how I don’t fit in), I’ve embraced the way God made me and the result…I’m more fully able to love the people around me — my husband, my kids, my parents, my friends, my neighbors, and those I’ve never met.

I feel my age. I know that sounds weird, but there were so many times in my 30s, that I would still think of myself as 18…and then get upset when I didn’t look or feel that young. Now, I’m stronger and healthier than I was 10+ years ago, but I “feel” my age in the wisdom and perspective that comes with getting older. This means that I’m not trying to be a younger version of me, but embracing where I currently am.

Don’t get me wrong — I still say and do stupid things and second guess myself. But, I am growing with each new year and becoming more of the woman God has created me to be. I rest in the love of my Heavenly Father, able to fully love myself and others.

Thank you, Lord, for your continued work in my life, year after year. I’m excited to see what you have planned for this next year!

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Faith Family

Give Thanks

Although I try to live a life of constant gratitude, Thanksgiving is a great time to reflect on all the good that God has done this past year.

I’ll be honest, the first seven months of 2021 were hard for our family. God took us through the fire and cut some big anchors, but through it all, his promises remain true: he is good and loving and has a plan for me and my family.

True to his Word, the past four months have been filled with incredible joys. God took the really hard and used it for His good and our good.

I’m thankful for my incredible husband — for his amazing servant’s heart and love for me and how God has grown our marriage and made it stronger. This year has grown his love for our our neighbors, his patience, and his grace. His response to the hard has blown me away.

I’m thankful for how God has worked in my son’s life spiritually and socially. Edmund has grown in his faith (was baptized this past Sunday!) and has excelled at school and in his relationships…all while entering the middle school era. BTW, today is his birthday!! My hilarious boy is 12 years old!!!

I’m thankful for the healing that God has brought into my daughter’s life. She struggled a lot with anxiety and depression the beginning of this year. In June she began seeing a counselor and started on medication. It’s been great to see my joyful kind-hearted girl again! Plus, Elise went to Honey Rock camp this summer for 12-days and her inner fierceness emerged — she fell in love with rock climbing and riflery! God has also brought some great friendships into her life.

I’m thankful for how God has worked in my life through the hard. He has grown my faith as I have learned to trust him and his faithfulness through the good and the bad. I’m thankful for the church God lead us to four months ago. I have a freedom and joy that I didn’t realize had been missing the past few years. I feel like God has brought me back to life!

I’m thankful for my parents, my sister, and her family who has stood by our family through the hard. My parents moved to the new church with us and God has already used them there! We were most concerned about the transition for my mom, who has dementia, but she LOVES it and looks forward to church every Sunday. She’s the perfect example of “people might not remember what you say, but they remember how you feel.”

Thank you God for upholding and sustaining all of my family through the really hard times this year. And I know that you will continue to sustain us in the years to come.

I’m thankful for God’s faithfulness to me and my family…his promises are strong and true.

A couple of weeks ago, we sang the song “Promises” in church. The words really spoke to me and all God has done in my life:

“God of Abraham, You’re the God of covenant, of faithful promises. Time and time again You have proven You do just want You say.

“Though the storms may come and the winds may blow, I’ll remain steadfast. And let my heart learn when You speak a word, it will come to pass.

“Great is Your faithfulness to me. Great is Your faithfulness to me. From the rising sun to the setting same, I will praise Your name. Great is Your faithfulness to me.

“God from age to age, though the earth may pass away, Your Word remains the same. Your history can prove there’s nothing You can’t do — You’re faithful and true.

“Though the storms may come and the winds may blow, I’ll remain steadfast. And let my heart learn when You speak a word, it will come to pass.

“Great is Your faithfulness to me. Great is Your faithfulness to me. From the rising sun to the setting same I will praise Your name. Great is Your faithfulness to me.

“I put my faith in Jesus. My anchor to the ground. My hope and firm foundation. He’ll never let me down…”

Amen. He will never let me down!