We’ve all been there — felt the weight of disappointment from unmet expectations…whether our feelings or those put upon us.
As a recovering perfectionist, this is a struggle for me. I struggled for years with trying to be perfect (and I see this in my daughter now), but with counseling and wise words from others, I have come a long way from the girl I was growing up and in college. I remind myself often that the world isn’t perfect this side of heaven and only Jesus was perfect here on earth. I’m learning to show myself grace.
I have also felt the weight of letting others down. Even though I have gotten better at trying to be perfect, there are still times where I see others get frustrated because I didn’t meet their expectations — whether it be that their expectations are unreachable…or that they just expect me to do better than they would have done.
Recently, I realized how many large expectations I put on others. If people don’t respond or behave the way I would do it, then it must be wrong, right? 😜
I shared in a previous post about how I struggle with friendships and being vulnerable. I feel like I’m always reaching out to people to connect (and feeling bad when it’s been awhile), yet people rarely reach out to me. This past year, I spent less time with some friends, so I mentally moved them closer to the acquaintance side.
In a conversation with one of these friends the other day, I realized how much I still cared for her and valued her. She was more than just an acquaintance, she was my friend, but I had put expectations on that friendship. I realized that what was holding back our friendship was unmet expectations and nothing else.
I am a constant work in progress when it comes to perfectionism and great expectations…both with others and myself. I still struggle with seeing my flaws, but now I have strategies to help change my mindset and focus on the positive and/or see where I can learn or grow.
How about you? Do you put high expectations on others, only to end up disappointed and frustrated? Are you searching for perfectionism in others? How can you show more grace to yourself and those around you?